two states/two out comes............

two states/two out comes............

Postby chasgas » Thu Feb 21, 2013 9:01 am

Two states, Two different out comes.





A Coyote Tale...

The Governor of "California" is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training regarding the nature of coyotes.

PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.


TEXAS:

The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.

notice any similarities? :) :) :)

chasgas
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Re: two states/two out comes............

Postby njed284 » Thu Feb 21, 2013 10:33 am

good one chas, why didn't you change the govs to NY and Pa?? Or do we even dare to go there????
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Re: two states/two out comes............

Postby chasgas » Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:34 am

hey njed, why i knew you'd figure it out right away... :)

wouldn't it be nice if our politicians had the same wisdom as this old doberman?

An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.


The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!"




Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,




"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"


Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.




"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!"


Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.


The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.


The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"


Now, the old Doberman sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says .......




"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"


too much........

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